The Long Gap II

It’s been slightly over one year since my last post. There’s been another singularly long gap in this blog, from 2015-18 before I returned to miniature gaming and thus painting.

I finished a role at work at the end of June last year (2020) and leapt into a bunch of mini projects that had been brewing for some time. That petered out in early September (Morgok’s mob remain unfinished) as my momentum faded. We had been plunged in to a strict lockdown and I could no longer look forward to the prospect of any gaming in person.

I tried other lockdown pursuits – a bit of photography, some baking etc, but the motivation soon fell away there as well and the long, empty days forced me to confront something that had been lurking in my consciousness for some years and in my subconscious since I was born.

Without going into enormous detail in what is ostensibly a hobby blog, I have had a sense of my life being ‘not quite right’ for as long as I’ve been alive.

I’d done what was expected of me, I’d been a good son, travelled, had relationships, settled down and had a child. I had a good job, good friends and yet my life felt ultimately unfulfilling.

The feeling is very difficult to describe, but it’s akin to doing a jigsaw puzzle and have the pieces not fit together neatly even when you know they’re in the right place. It’s kind of a grinding dissatisfaction, a hollowness to your own existence.

On the eve of my 40th birthday in 2015 it came together in a psychic explosion.

I’d been living a lie, I’d been playing role people expected of me. At work, at play, in bed – I’d made a life out of the expected social role that came with my male body.

I was transgender. What the actual fuck? How did this happen?!?

It was the truth, I knew it – because I finally at least on some level felt a sense of satisfaction that the answer had been found. My subconscious had been screaming at me wordlessly all my life and now she’d broken through to the surface.

But what to do about it? Live a ‘true’ life with the potential cost of everything? Job, partner, friends, home – nothing guaranteed except upheaval and heartbreak.

I chose to seek counselling and find a way to cope with the dysphoria – the dissonance created by being a woman living in a man’s body. Please note that mine is not the ‘definitive’ trans experience – which doesn’t exist, just a fairly common one amongst many.

The counselling helped to a degree in dealing with this extremely unpalatable truth, but to resume life as a functional man I doubled down on a work routine and devoted myself to my family. If I filled my life up with activities for the benefit of my family – I would experience happiness through them, and avoid giving me the space to brood over my predicament.

This worked to a degree but my relationship was irrevocably damaged by the revelation, and while we were still best friends, the landscape would shift over ensuing five years. So when the long days of lockdown came, I realised that it was time face up to myself.

A month later after passing through some tedious medical gatekeeping, I was armed with HRT (hormone replacement therapy) and my journey had at long last begun.

I knew I’d be trading one set of problems for another, but it was and still is the right decision. Only another trans person will fully understand the need to feel comfortable in their own skin, to be themselves as most can and do take for granted.

It’s a long, all-consuming road that might seem selfish to an observer. There is a constant mental and emotional tax that comes with transition, it’s truly a slow moving metamorphosis that is expensive and painful. But it’s also freeing and validating to no longer need to deny one’s true nature.

So when will I paint again? I’ve had some false starts over the year firstly when I tried to finish Morgok and then again with the new Kill Team box. I don’t have an event to drive me due to the pandemic and honestly I don’t have the headspace.

I do know that I still love painting minis – it’s not a gendered behaviour that I’m going to shed as part of ridding myself of maleness, it’s just that things will have to settle down first. 2023 maybe?

Thugg Life

As far as this blog goes, a two week gap between posts is pretty quick.  In COVID life however, it’s a fair old stretch.  A bit of a flat spot with the Skitarii coupled with the long awaited final two war bands of the Beastgrave season led me on a hobby collision course with Orcs in the form of Morgok’s Krushas.  Orruks, more precisely in the Sigmarian parlance are something I’ve not had a real stab (hack,shiv) at since I painted my Blood Bowl team in 2009.

Without burying the lead too much, I wanted to endorse a lovely old bit of Blanchitsu from Heroes for Wargames. Drastik Plastik orcs were pretty cool for 1986 but they’re the almost the first plastics Citadel produced. The art was better than the models of course but 34 years on we have some parity.

 

Again, the airbrush is an amazing tool to get a project kickstarted.  I used a Xereus Purple and Rhinox Hide mix to get a dark base before spraying various shades of green for Orc flesh.  Thugg is the first boy off the block and I wanted to have some of the 80’s Blanche traits of light coloured leather and eldritch markings on his armour.  I’m really happy with the work in progress.

Da boss Morgok is up next.  We’re ‘untin’ stunty!

Plastic diversions

After a fair tilt at painting lead, I felt like painting something a bit contemporary for a change.  The Adeptus Mechanicus have long been part of framework of the Warhammer 40k universe but remained largely a background entity until around 2015.  The idea of a machine cult that has gradually forgotten how the technology that it creates actually works over the millennia and devolved into a monastic priesthood of robots and cyborgs is immensely strange and extremely appealing!

I’d cogitated over a colour scheme for a little while – despite the flat out weird nature of the faction, GW schemes are by and large just red, or a red variant (it’s a Mars thing) which I really wanted to avoid.

I settled on a ‘demon hunter’ scheme, taking some inspiration from Hearthstone – starting with black and dark green, right up to a ‘fel’ yellow-green, This chap has an Arc Rifle, which I laboured over way too long trying to get it to ‘glow’.  I had more success with the visor and lamp lights, not too bad for first time at Object Sourced Lighting effects!  Fairly happy over all with what is an army grade paint job.

 

And the recipe so I can come back to these guys later:

Greatcoat

Airbrush Caliban Green, Airbrush P3 Iosan Green, Edge Moot Green

Greatcoat Trim

Moot Green, VGC  Livery Green

Armour

Base Scale75 Black Metal, Drybrush Runefang Steel, Wash Nuln Oil, Edge Scale75 Speed Metal

Bronze Trim

Warplock Bronze, Highlight Balthasar Gold

Pipes and Trousers

Basecoat Black, Highlight Dark Reaper, Drybrush Celestra Grey

Lights & Visor + OSL

50/50 Flash Gitz Yellow & VGC Livery Green

Arc Rifle

White + Nilakh Oxide over and over again

 

 

 

 

COVID Completions: Magore and Friends

It’s been a while since I have really struggled with a paint job, but getting Riptooth finished was a week long battle.  The lockdown was intensified and I have felt a bit flat mentally for the first time since the pandemic began.  I also happened to watch The Last Dance on Netflix, and I took some inspiration from Michael Jordan’s immense willpower to see things through.  Tremendously tenacious athlete and massive jerk really, but he got stuff done.  Riptooth isn’t an NBA title, but it’s a small win for me!

Riptooth progress shots

The miniature is a Marauder Flesh Hound from 1994 sculpted by Trish Carden (Morrison at the time) which I picked up off eBay.  It was pretty clean, but the body comes in two parts split down the spine which means that there’s a join right where you’d drill a hole to pin the head and tail.  I’m a pretty fanatical about strengthening joins on heavy metal minis but I trust the quality of Trish’s work, so I ended up gluing it all together and doing some gap filling with green stuff.

There’s a lot of different details on the mini that I couldn’t figure out how to render.  Textbook Flesh Hounds are vast amounts of red with a bit of black fur, there’s not much inspiration to be had on the internet, so I ended up following my nose.  I’m pretty happy with the result, the Wraithbone edging on the scales in particular.

I think I’ll move onto something a little bit clearer – probably plastic, before returning to lead for my next Underworlds war band.

 

Magore’s Fiends 3/4

It’s been slow but steady progress here at Mini Makeover towers.  Applying paint to these blood crazed fanatics has helped me while away a lockdown with the outcome being some old lead to be proud of.  Riptooth has arrived from the UK as well, a Trish Carden classic that I’m about to get working on.

In the meantime here are the boys, ready to take on all manner of victims beneath the dread mountain of Beastgrave.

Ghartok, Magore and Zharkus indicate their approval of the amenities provided at Eight Points

The outcome of this painting journey reflects elements of what I love about Oldhammer, the facets of Khorne that have been cast aside to a degree today, the explosion of creative output from the Games Workshop design studio in the late 1980’s and finally the ‘nostalgia’ for my childhood that those things give me.  It’s an oft told tale among many a middle-aged man blog these days!

Nostalgia technically is a ‘bittersweet’ emotion where we long for days gone by, and I don’t think that’s really the case for me.  I’m merely a curator and restorer of these static bits of lead so that I can use them in games.

Comparing these miniatures with the ‘actual’ Magore’s Fiends illustrates how paradoxically uniform the forces of Chaos have become these days.  Strangely I hadn’t considered it until I looked back at the old White Dwarf magazines recently.

I remarked in an earlier post about the Dwarf Blood Bowl team that had very little uniformity, obviously the staffers had a high degree of freedom under Bryan Ansell in those days.  Days before style guides and templating!

Chaos should be chaotic, right?

Magore

The main man, Magore Redhand represents the infernal machine of Khorne, featuring a raised power fist and a passing resemblance to this guy – also an old forgotten favourite!

Zharkus

Magore’s right hand man is where I did my best ‘Blanchitsu’ impression. Black metal armour, tan boots and sigils everywhere!  It’s also the first of the slotta shields I’ve painted since my late teens.  The only ’80s thing I didn’t do was put black and white checks on.

Ghartok

This guy is technically the weakest fighter in the warband although he’s still a fearsome warrior by comparison to most in the game.  In Underworlds parlance the weakest fighters on a given side are referred to as ‘danglebros’, sent forth as enticing kills to lure the enemy into a weak position where they can be counter-attacked.

I really like the way the bone armour contrasts with the bloodletter type head, and of course I stuck with the tan leather.  It looks so comfortable!

Ghartok in Front

Ghartok’s Rear Quarter

Painting methods

Brass armour edging

Base: Scale75 Negro Gold

Wash: Nuln Oil

Drybrush: Scale75 Negro Gold

Edge: Scale75 Speed Metal

Tan boots

Base: Old Citadel Snakebite Leather (Coat d’Arms Barbarian Leather)

Wash: 50/50 Mournfang Brown and Lahmian Medium

Highlight: VGC Foul Brown

Edge: Wraithbone

Wood shafts

Base: Citadel Colour Wormwood

Drybrush: Rakarth Flesh

Magore’s scale armour

Base: VGC Dark Fleshtone

Wash: Nuln Oil in a messy and uneven fashion

Highlight: VMC Flat Red oval shapes

Edge: Evil Sunz Scarlet

Zharkus’ plate armour and steel weapons

Base: Scale75 Black Metal

Wash: Nuln Oil

Drybrush: Leadbelcher

Edge: Scale75 Speed Metal

Ghartok’s bone armour

Base: Ushabti Bone

Wash: 50/50 Seraphim Sepia and Lahmian Medium

Highlight: Ushabti Bone

Edge: VMC White

Bases

Base: Skavenblight Dinge

Drybrush: VMC Silver Grey

Wash: Nuln Oil

Drybrush: VMC Silver Grey (again)

Mossy area: Athonian Camoshade

Lastly, here’s what happens when you don’t have a plan (or a plain bad one) when painting a flat surface:

Oh dear…

Fair go Steelheart’s Champions

After hauling out my dad’s old Nikon D200 I’ve resolved to make more of an effort when photographing my miniatures.  I didn’t really give my marble armoured crew a photo shoot that gave justice to the amount of time I spent painting them.

Additionally, I’ve recently completed the Warcry starter set terrain, and quite frankly I’ll be happy never painting another fucking rope lashing ever again! So. Much. Rope.

After almost a year, I’m still really happy with the way they turned out, especially since they’re often seen on the socials and yet I’ve not seen a scheme like this.  It’s almost an urban camo set for the 8 Points (Warcry setting) which is pretty amusing.

Photoshop, which sees stuff a lot better than my eyes picked up all the dust that I’d manage not to brush off, so sorry about that.  Anyway, enjoy!

Angharad:

Obryn:

Steelheart:

 

Magore WIP

I’ve always got several million projects running at once, and minis are just one of them.  I’m currently sorting out all my ‘dead’ CCGs and building new decks, working out how to give an ancient sewing machine some maintenance, learning basic photography techniques along with a bit of home schooling thrown in.

That said, I’ve finished the painting of my first Fiend, Magore Redhand.  I didn’t end up going with the black in the end, but I still like the combination of scaly beast and grimy war engine that I ended up with.  Truly a fearsome tool of destruction – I really need some red dice for him!

It only recently occurred to me that for decades, DECADES that GW made minis that were far too big for their bases.  The number of minis I have with feet overhanging their 20mm or 25mm bases is ludicrous – if anyone can enlighten me as to why I’d love to hear it!

Of course, these guys fit really well onto 32mm bases.  I’ll do some green stuffing to put some texture on them once I’ve finished all the painting.

And they were there all the time…

So the part where two of my champions never got official paint jobs turned out to be flat wrong! All I had to do was leaf through my tattered copy of Slaves to Darkness and there they were…

Ghartok has his shield front facing.  He’s potentially a very clownish figure, and whoever painted him did their level best to accentuate it!  Tan leather, flames on the boots, yet he has a terribly plain shield.  OG Ghartok gets a solid fail!

Magore however, MY MAN! Simple yet effective.  I’d disregarded black as a primary colour for Khorne, but I think this is the direction I’ll go with my Fiends.  He looks totally fearsome, of course I’m going to have to give him a red hand!

 

Flint Churnblade and Polly the Cheerleader

Just a couple of small additions to the Dwarf team today.  My track record of painting associated star players like Flint here and ancillary staff such as wizards, coaches and cheerleaders is poor, so it’s nice to break another bad habit.

Flint is a little on the steep side for a Chainsaw at 130k, but they’re always a chance to wreck your opponents day.  I have always struggled to execute dark blue paint schemes so I thought I’d try one with this mercenary.  I’m reasonably happy with the result, it’s definitely a decent first attempt.

Polly the one girl cheer squad is a legit mini makeover.  She was a ‘steak knife’ in the trade I did for Frank’N’Stein about eight years ago, and recently rescued from the jar of ancient paint stripper!  I cleaned off the ‘D’ with a file and knife, stuck a pin in her foot since the base tab was gone. She’s not the cleanest mini, but I had fun painting her.  Job’s a good un!

 

Oldhammer Underworlds: Genesis

So, I’m stuck at home.  What work there is has been taken care of.  Why not open the wardrobe and take a look at that old lead sitting in the drawer? “Huh, I forgot about these guys, maybe I’ll…”

I am not a painter of display pieces.  One day maybe, but not now.  I’m also a modern gamer that likes old minis (I really like new ones too) which seems to be an unusual combination.  I know that Axiom over at Magpie and Old Lead is plays the current iteration of Necromunda with old minis, but by and large Oldhammer players seem to go full grognard and play with the old rule sets.

Necromunda itself is a lovely game, but it’s a system that requires the sort of country- oval-cricket attitude where everyone is putting a lot into the hobby and playing for narrative.  My game group featured a Cawdor gang that used a Heroclix Thor Oakenshield in place of a Stigshambler.  That’s a buzzkill right there!  Besides, I’m a systems guy – and to me there’s only two GW games that are rock solid in the rules department: Blood Bowl and Warhammer Underworlds (WHU).

OK, lets get back on track – I found a bunch of miniatures that I think I might be able to re-purpose for my other favourite game.  This is very exciting, and no one else has done it as far as I can see.

There’s twenty-four war bands currently in circulation for WHU, and by my reckoning illustrated in the table below – there are many that are can be fashioned from the old stuff of yore.  Really, the only war bands that I think are a hard ‘No’ are those featuring Stormcast, which are relatively new IP.  The ‘Maybe’ outfits are those that have a limited selection and might need a fair bit of conversion; but certainly doable.

So, while Magore’s Fiends might be a little bit outdated insofar as they’re a pretty one-note war band (kill, kill, kill) they’re still pretty reasonable at it.  I also happen to have most of a reasonable facsimile for them – so they’re the first of my Oldhammer Underworlds warbands!

And here’s the range that I’ll be using for my own boys:

So here we are after a some cleaning and a session with the green stuff.  Ok, so where’s the Flesh Hound you might ask.  He’s coming!

Three Jes Goodwin Chaos Champions from 1988 will form the bipedal component of my war band. I took a scan from WD107 which has a lovely shot of SOME of the Chaos Champions that Mr Goodwin sculpted but unfortunately he was so prolific that two thirds of my war band didn’t get an official paint job.  Lovely work all the same.

Magore remains completely stock, however with Ghartok and Zharkus I’ve added a sharp shield boss to represent their ‘Gorefist’ ability.  It’s been so long since I’ve painted one of these old shields, I’m really looking forward to turning them into blanchitsu style demon noses.

In an odd reversal, the Zharkus mini came in a Blood Bowl auction years back with a  Human team minus the shield boss and axe.  I’ve re-created the chopper by recycling this guy Helmut Grosswürst‘s original weapon.  I’ll wait for Riptooth to show up and then commence the painting!